Onwards - treatment no 4.

                              

Against all odds: with Lila and Wayne being struck down with the lurgy and various friends with colds, I've been desperately trying to avoid germs without actually putting myself in isolation! Feeling battered and bruised (emotionally and physically - only have to tap myself at the moment and seem to mark, thanks to low blood count and a bouncing 6 yr old!), tired (the tiredness is extreme now, accumulated through the weeks and finding it very hard to get through the day without 40 winks) and cold (yep, the thermostat has gone up the creek since the weather changed!), we make it to treatment no 4. 

 

I’m fairly anxious about this new drug today. Having met with the consultant on Monday, who told me the fatigue will worsen and flu like symptoms are common, I'm trying to stay positive and confident - hence the above quote: ....... It made me smile, despite not feeling that brave. I'm trying.....hard.

 

Logistics are a little different today – sadly it’s the first time in without Wayne, who is staying behind with the kiddies. My escort today is the lovely Polly and we have projects to work on, gossip to goss and general girlie time to enjoy. A great distraction if ever there was one! 

 

This cycle I've had to start the Steroids again - 24 hours earlier due to the new drug. But the good news is I think I only take them for 3 days as opposed to 7. Phew!

 

Meanwhile, since taking first dose yesterday, my brain has awoken instantly (they’re amazing drugs - can kinda see why people take them!) and come out of hibernation, like a crocus pushing through the snow or the sun bursting through dense fog. It seemed to have taken a holiday for the last couple of weeks - a sleepy, sluggish, scatty, majorly disengaged holiday. Now we are back to busy, overworking, creative, thoughtful brain which, annoyingly of course = insomnia again. Double edged sword, I guess. Sigh. 

 

Last night, I finally dozed off at about midnight, only to wake at the joyful hour of 5.30. PING, brain kicks in but eyes feel literally like a thin line of superglue has been run along the lashes. And 'noooo' I feel my body cry. Looks like I will have to rely on the morning dose of steroids to jump start my engine! 

 

So, welcome back effervescent brain.  You've been missed during this last couple of weeks. May I suggest we get busy with it, tackle the pile of to do's which ground to a halt after your last visit, do a few jobs and manage a few coherent conversations without constantly saying 'oh sorry, I was about to say something but I've just forgotten!' Ha! .... But, please, I'd be so grateful if you could remember to stop your cogs at night-time and let me sleep a little. You know, snoozy snooze, z's, dream dreamer, visit slumberland.......... at appropriate times, of course. Is that asking too much? Merci beaucoup, mon amie.

 

What’s more, it sounds like this new drug today will kiss goodbye to any remaining hair on my body. Sob! Oh, how I’ll miss my eyebrows - which I've finally, at the age of 41, painstakingly shaped to a style I’m happy with, that suits me… They’re soon to be gone – and my lashes too. Time to order in the eyebrow/lash kit methinks. Although, I have no clue how to actually draw/stick them on without looking like I'm in drag!  Another learning journey I could do without, although I will try to find the funny side.... Eeek! 

 

So, off I go, further up the side of this mountain. Bring it on – I can't wait to say ‘2 more to go’!!!  Wish me luck..... See you on the other side, dear friends xxx

C whisper: Treatment day is treat day! It's so unpredictable how long you'll be in hospital each time, averaging from 5-7 hrs for us, so supplies are essential! Arm yourself with a good bag of sweets, favourite foods or comfort foods. Plus a good mag. I'm serioulsy showing my age today as turned up with Gardener's World and Good Food! That is untill Polly (in uproar!) bought Grazia and Hello! Check.... up to date with the world of goss.......Gardening and food have to wait their turn!