The next stage.......

So, the deed is done. I have successfully made it through the twists and turns of chemotherapy treatment....well, I’m in recovery at least. What a journey. I can safely say I never, ever want to be in this situation again. It's been a hard, traumatic, emotional time for us all but, thankfully, my family is in one piece, my husband has avoided a breakdown (so far!) and I'm alive to tell my story! 

Weirdly, it's not without mixed emotions though. There's been constant highs and lows since my diagnosis but the end of chemotherapy brings the biggest high yet. However, it seems as soon as the last dose is in sight everyone wants to speak to you about the future. Yep, THE FUTURE. The future of living with cancer. How to move forward. The chemotherapy nurse, the breast cancer care nurse, the oncologist, the radiologist and so it goes on. They've all had their say over the last couple of weeks which naturally provokes anxieties, tap tapping on my mind, pestering my peace and quiet and dampening the sense of happiness I had at the end of the chemo. It brings with it sadness as I wonder what the future has in store for me. I just want to live a normal life and pray I am able to do this by controlling the inevitable anxieties and finding the courage. Mmmmm, somehow, I need to find this balance to be able to move forward.

Meanwhile though, the PICC line has been removed. Hooray! I can now have a shower without driving Wayne mad, asking him to wrap my arm in clingfilm. The skin can feel fresh air again and I can have a bath. After all the worries about getting it inserted though, I am super glad I did. It has been a good friend, easing the pain of the toxic drugs. 

Then, before I know it I'm onto the next stage of this mountain climb.....it's at this point we part hands with chemotherapy and I allow radiotherapy to take over the lead role. With that in mind, I met with the radiologist consultant last week and it's looking like 4.5 weeks of radiotherapy for me. My dreams of getting it done before Christmas could be slowly vanishing as, yet again, I hear the words......'because of your age and type of cancer, we want to give you the maximum dose'. The story of my journey! So, they are going to give me 3ish weeks grace and then start treatment at the end of November, Monday to Friday – every weekday. Bah! They assure me it's going to be an easier ride then chemotherapy so here's hoping that’s the case! It's just the logistics that are tougher. A daily trip to Cheltenham for 15 mins of treatment. Oh well, I guess I could squeeze in a little Christmas shopping at the same time, right? 

Let's hope the next couple of weeks bring a smooth ride and I recover from this last dose without any traumas! So far, so good. My lovely sister, Emma, has been down all weekend to care for Lila. Wayne was given an exit ticket and has had fun out with friends (in fact he's still out!!) and Tilly is off with Granny doing.......Granny things of course! It's half term so I'm hoping to get stronger as the days go by to take part in fun Halloween and fireworks adventures but, meanwhile, I'm tucked up in bed, planning on hiding from the storm I can hear brewing outside my window! Ttfn xxxx

Thank you Aunty Em for looking after me xx